


The Christmas Party

by SexuallyMonsterous (Alli_Bialystock)



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Christmas, I can't stop, I have a problem, Love Confessions, M/M, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5384162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alli_Bialystock/pseuds/SexuallyMonsterous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erlich drunkenly tells Richard how he feels about him, and neither knows what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Christmas Party

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Daisy for inspiring me to write this!

None of the guys in the incubator were strangers to alcohol, but everyone at the Christmas party would later agree that it had gotten severely out of hand. Richard, still extremely aware of the disaster that had been Peter Gregory’s party, had managed to reel himself in enough that he didn’t go much further than “singing karaoke in the middle of the living room” drunk, but the rest of the attendees hadn’t had such foresight. Jared and Monica slow-danced for half an hour with no music, Gilfoyle jumped off of the roof into the pool (with his phone still in his pocket), Dinesh called every woman in his contact list to ask why they didn’t want to sleep with him, and Erlich…

Well. Erlich was another thing altogether. 

“Jesus, how much did you have to drink?” Richard asked, holding Erlich’s hair and staring at the ceiling while his landlord retched over the toilet. 

“Too much,” Erlich groaned. “Don’t know. Did someone bring fucking homemade moonshine?”

“I have no idea, but everyone was pretty fucked up.” The only sound left in the incubator was their conversation and Erlich’s intermittent heaves – everyone else had collapsed in heaps around the living room almost an hour ago, but Erlich had been determined to keep the party going. “You think you’re okay to go to bed?”

Erlich nodded weakly and stumbled to his feet, wrapping an arm around Richard’s shoulder for support. Richard staggered under the weight, but nevertheless managed to navigate them around multiple empty bottles, boxes, and gift wrap before all but throwing Erlich onto his bed. Richard went to beat a hasty retreat – Bighead hadn’t been wrong when he said that Erlich was even more unbearable when under the influence – but a strong hand around his wrist stopped him. “Please don’t go yet,” Erlich begged. “Please. Talk to me.”

“I really want to go to bed, Erlich.”

“Please?” Erlich was giving Richard surprisingly effective puppy dog eyes. “I don’t wanna die like Jimi Hendrix.”

“You’re not gonna…”

“Pleeeeeaaaaaase, Richarrrrrrrrd,” Erlich whined, and Richard finally relented, sitting next to him on the bed. “Thank you.”

“Sure.” Richard glanced around. He’d never been in Erlich’s bedroom before, and for some reason it was significantly more normal than he’d expected. There was an Aviato sticker on the headboard, multiple Apple stickers on just about every piece of furniture, and old movie posters galore. A poster for _I Was a Teenage Werewolf_ was plastered onto the ceiling above the bed. “What do you want to talk about?”

Erlich screwed up his face in thought. It looked like a painful amount of effort. “Christmas,” he said finally. “Do you like Christmas?”

“I guess.” Richard shrugged. “It was always nice when I lived at home. I don’t really have much of an opinion though.”

“I always wanted to like it,” Erlich said. “I used to watch holiday movies and think it would be nice to have a big, happy family where everyone loved each other. I always hoped that one year I would wake up in some other family’s house and I’d have pancakes and open presents and sing carols and whatever, but it never happened.”

Richard frowned. Erlich had never talked about his family. “What did happen?”

“My father got drunk and accused my mother of cheating on him, my mother responded by calling and screaming at whatever woman my father was sleeping with at the time, my brother complained about the gifts he got, and the maid gave me a candy cane and told me to go watch _It’s a Wonderful Life_ in my room.”

Richard stared. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah. It was sort of a fuckin’ mess.” Erlich laid back, speaking to the ceiling, eyes flickering shut, his speech growing more and more slurred as he started drifting towards sleep. He seemed so lost in thought that Richard wondered if he could leave without him noticing. “I jus’ always wondered what it’d be like for someone to love me.”

Richard repressed a groan and sank back down onto the bed. No way could he leave after that. “People love you.”

“Not the people I want.”

“Like who?”

Erlich twisted on the bed, eyes still closed. “Richard,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“I mean Richard. I wish he would love me.”

Richard wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or vomit. “Um… why?”

“’Cause I’m crazy ‘bout him,” Erlich yawned. “An’ his big cute eyes an’ his cute curly hair an’ he’s so short an’ tiny I could prob’ly princess carry him, which would be cool, y’know?”

Richard looked around helplessly, as if Jared might jump out from behind the desk to save him. “I-I didn’t think you liked m – him,” Richard sputtered. “You were, uh, gonna kick him out until he got that call from Gavin Belson, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. Feel like a dick ‘bout it.” Erlich sounded sheepish. “I jus’ needed to get him away from me. I didn’ wanna embarrass myself. But then all the Pied Piper shit happened an’ I couldn’ let him do it all alone, so now I jus’… hope he won’ find out.”

“W-Why don’t you want, uh, him to find out?”

“’Cause he doesn’ love me. An’ if he found out, he’d leave me. I couldn’ take that. ”

Richard’s heart sank at the hopelessness in Erlich’s voice. It almost would have been better if he’d started crying – he sounded beyond misery, all the way into lonely acceptance. 

Richard stood slowly and covered Erlich as best he could with the comforter. “Everything will be okay,” he said, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was he was referring to. “Goodnight, Erlich.”

“’Night.” Erlich snuggled into the covers. “Don’ tell Richard.”

“I won’t.” Richard closed the door softly behind him and crept down the hall to his room. It was four in the morning and his bed was warm and cozy, but he didn’t sleep.

***  
Richard saw very little of his landlord over the next couple of days. Any time he entered a room, Erlich was just leaving. He had hoped Erlich wouldn’t remember what happened at the Christmas party, but it was becoming more and more apparent that he had. Even worse, the rest of the incubees had started to notice.

“What’d you do to piss Erlich off?” Gilfoyle asked after watching Erlich dart off the couch and into the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Richard replied. “Why?”

“Dude, he’s been avoiding you for days,” Dinesh pointed out. “Something happened. Were you the one that ate his quinoa?”

“No, that was me,” Gilfoyle interjected. 

“I thought you hate quinoa.”

“As a rule, yes. But I don’t mind eating it if it means Erlich doesn’t get to.”

Richard could see the conversation starting to deviate into the usual bickering and made to beat a hasty retreat, but Gilfoyle’s voice stopped him.

“You know, whatever you did, you should figure it out before tomorrow. You don’t want to be alone in the house if he’s pissed off. He’ll probably poison you.”

Richard groaned. “Oh fuck, that’s right. Everyone’s going away for Christmas, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, even Jared. Which is weird.” Dinesh frowned. “If he has friends, why the fuck was he sleeping in the garage?”

“He’s staying with Monica,” Gilfoyle explained. “I hope they’re not fucking. I don’t want to imagine what kind of spawn those two could pump out.”

“Can’t you stay, Gilfoyle?” Richard asked desperately. “I don’t want to be alone with Erlich for three days. And besides, it’s not like you celebrate Christmas.”

“No can do. Tara and I have planned to stage a Satanic Christmas protest. I’d say you’re free to come with us, but I don’t want you to.”

“Dinesh?”

“Yeah, I’m definitely not giving up a trip back to Pakistan to watch Erlich yell at you about spoon sizes,” Dinesh said, turning back to his computer. 

Richard watched the door that Erlich had escaped through. Hopefully they could get through the week without having to talk at all.

***  
Richard had had his fair share of awkward holidays. One Thanksgiving, his aunt had tried to stab his uncle after he refused to sign the divorce papers, and last New Year’s Eve Richard’s very drunk father had tearfully told Richard how proud he was of him for coming out as bisexual (which Richard hadn’t – this was also how he found out his dad used to read his supposedly secret blog posts as a teenager) and described how he’d had his own “manly experiences,” as he described them, in college.

However, this Christmas Eve managed to top the list. 

Something about avoiding each other on Christmas Eve apparently didn’t sit well with either of them, because they found themselves on opposite ends of the living room couch, watching _Christmas Vacation_ in stilted silence. Richard cast several furtive glances Erlich’s way, but the other man was staring resolutely forward, occasionally sipping at his eggnog. After the third tree gag went by without a laugh from either of them, Richard cleared his throat. “Would, uh, you mind mixing me a glass of that?”

“I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Why not?”

“I put Limoncello in it.” Erlich took a sip, his expression remaining stony. “It’s fucking terrible.”

Richard suppressed a gag at the thought. “What the fuck? Why?”

“It’s the only alcohol in the house and I’d rather not face this holiday sober.”

Richard tried to put on an innocently confused expression. He failed, but figured he needed to go with it regardless. “W-Why? Why would you not want to do that?”

Erlich finally looked over at Richard. His expression alone was so scathing Richard nearly asked him not to continue. “You fucking know why, Richard. I humiliated myself. It’s not exactly something that I enjoy doing.”

The two fell silent. Erlich gulped down the rest of his abominable cocktail. “Why didn’t you go home, anyway?” he asked. “I thought you and your parents had a pretty decent relationship.”

“We do. They’re not home right now.” Richard rolled his eyes. “They, uh, watched _Christmas With the Kranks_ and apparently felt inspired.”

“What?” Erlich barked out a laugh. “Seriously?”

“My parents are kind of huge dorks.”

“Well I figured that. They had _you._ ”

Richard opened his mouth to argue, but he didn’t have it in him. It was too nice just to see Erlich smiling again. It was good to be talking like nothing had happened. 

The tension slowly melted into companionable silence, watching the movie together. Richard felt his muscles unwind and he leaned back in the chair. Every once in a while, they would exchange quotes: “Why is the carpet all wet, _Todd?”_ “I don’t _know,_ Margot!” They were so engrossed they barely noticed that they slowly slid further and further towards the middle of the couch.

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” Richard said, standing. “Want anything?”

Erlich stood too. “Maybe. I’ll come with you. I might make myself another eggnogcello.” 

“I thought it was awful?”

“It was,” Erlich conceded, “but I kinda want to see if I can make it work. It would be pretty rad to have a signature cocktail.”

Richard rolled his eyes. “Yeah, who wouldn’t want people everywhere to think of your face while vomiting?”

It took some doing, but Richard eventually persuaded Erlich to make a lemon drop instead. “It’s a girl drink!” Erlich protested. “I’m not drinking some fucking bitch fizz! A lemon drop has no balls!” 

“Yeah, it also doesn’t have any free-floating solids.”

“Oh, come on, now, the eggnogcello wasn’t the bad.”

“You were literally drinking custard-flavored cottage cheese.”

Erlich looked down at the lemon drop and sighed. “Yeah. You’re not wrong there.”

The two made their way to the kitchen door, then stopped. Above them hung a sprig of mistletoe. 

Richard felt himself redden immediately. Who the fuck would have even thought of this? It was a house full of – as far as anyone knew – straight men. Was this Jared’s way of trying to be festive? Was this how Dinesh was planning on testing the semi-erotic tone of his relationship with Gilfoyle? When he looked up at Erlich, he noticed that he was also wide-eyed and embarrassed. “I swear I didn’t put that there,” Erlich blurted. “I didn’t, like, plan this. I swear, I’m not trying to, you know… besmirch your honor.”

“Besmirch my honor? W-What do you think people do under mistletoe?” 

“I mean…” Erlich took a big gulp of his drink. “I just mean I didn’t set you up or anything. I’m not trying to force you into something. I want you to know that. I wouldn’t try to just kiss you out of nowhere.”

“I know.” Richard bit nervously at his bottom lip. His stomach was quivering, but pleasantly. Something warm seemed to be spreading over his body. “Do you… want to?”

“Do I want to what?”

Richard shrugged, eyes flitting between Erlich’s eyes and lips. “Kiss me. Do you, um, want to kiss me?”

Erlich stared. For a minute, Richard was a little worried he’d gone into shock, but then his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Are you fucking with me right now?”

Richard frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Are you trying to, like, do this so the other guys will find out? Because Richard, holy fuck, I would not be able to take that right now, not after what happened the other night.”

“What? No! What even made you think that?!”

“Because.” Erlich swallowed hard, his eyes searching Richard’s face. “You’re standing under the mistletoe with me, asking me if I want to kiss you and giving me those stupid, adorable puppy dog eyes, and you’re biting your lip all sexy and shit, and… and if you’re doing this to fuck with me, Richard, I’m serious. I can’t take it.”

“I’m not!” Richard fought off a bizarre urge to laugh. Giddiness was running through him. “You… really think it’s sexy when I bite my lip?”

“Well yeah.” Erlich raised a hand, almost absent-mindedly, and trailed his thumb along Richard’s bottom lip. “Watching you bite that soft, pretty lip… you looking up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes… looking so sweet and so goddamn fuckable all at once…”

Richard’s breath was shallow. When Erlich’s hand fell, he realized just how close they were to each other. Still, he took a small step forward, until the front of his shirt grazed Erlich’s sweater. “Please say you want to kiss me, Erlich,” he whispered. He didn’t care that he was pleading.

“I do.” Erlich’s eyes fluttered. “I want to kiss you.”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck yes.”

“Um.” Richard ducked his head for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. It wasn’t easy with his spinning, dizzy mind, all melted down and blended with a feeling that made his heart thump hard inside his chest. He forced himself to look back up at Erlich, feeling timid and small and vulnerable in a way that made him feel safer than he ever had before. “I think you should do it.”

Slowly, gently, Erlich cupped Richard’s face in his hands, then bent down and pressed his lips to Richard’s. It felt like lightning coursed from Richard’s lips to his groin to his head and back. The sugary lemon taste on Erlich’s lips was the only that reminding him that this was all actually happening. 

The two pulled apart, both watching each other carefully. "How…" Erlich cleared his throat. "How was that?"

"Good. Really good." Richard was trying hard not to embarrass himself, but he couldn't stifle his grin. Fortunately, it seemed like Erlich was in the same boat. 

Both of their phones dinged. Jared had texted them a photo of himself and Monica's family, huddled around the tree. Monica was holding up a "Merry Christmas" sign. While they'd kissed, the clock had struck midnight.

"Huh. I guess it's officially Christmas," Richard mused.

"Apparently."

Richard slipped his phone into his pocket. "So, uh, what should we do to celebrate? Wanna keep watching the movie?"

"No." Erlich nipped at Richard's neck, earning a shiver from the smaller man. "I think I'd rather unwrap my present."


End file.
